From buddy to boss: tips for managing former peers

By Catherine Baxter, coach

Catherine offers ACEVO members discounted rates for her new leader coaching programme as well as the return to work coaching programme

When you’ve been promoted internally, you’ll often be managing people who were once your peers and friends. This transition can be unsettling and awkward. How is it possible to switch from being a buddy to a boss overnight? How can you make sure the change goes as well as possible?

I’ve worked with numerous new leaders, and below are eight simple steps I’ve seen work well in the early stages of a new manager relationship, time and time again;

1. Acknowledge the change. Say up front that you understand this period of change may feel a little different for you both whilst you settle in to a new working relationship. Talk about how working together may be different and ask if they have any concerns or questions which you can address and resolve early on.

2. Think about what you bring to the role. Be able to describe this in a couple of sentences, and share it with individuals in your team so it’s clear what they can expect from you. Defining your strengths will help you position yourself and help your team and former peers view you in a new light. Practice how you talk about this and ensure you are consistent in your communication with everyone.

3. Agree how you will communicate. Communicate clearly and regularly, and decide with each individual how you would like to work together. Agree how and when you will catch up, and ask how they would like to work with you. Remember you have a head start here, as you already know your team and how they work, so you can build on this knowledge.

4. Talk about your vision for the team. Share your vision in your 1:1 meetings with individuals, so they can see where they fit. This will help to set the scene for your overall goals and give a framework for motivating the team.

5. Set expectations and goals from the start. Don’t shy away from this, even though it may feel awkward to now being the one setting the goals. Talk to individuals about reviews and appraisals upfront, be clear on what the process will be, and block in key dates for meetings so they are in the diary. Clear expectations from the start will help protect your relationships because everyone knows where they stand.

6. Be honest with your team. Tell them you won’t know all the answers all the time. Feel comfortable admitting when you don’t know something, and have a response ready, i.e. “I’m not sure about that, but I’ll find out and come back to you by Friday.” or “I believe it could be this but why don’t you do some research and let me know your findings.”

7. Get comfortable with delegating early on. Divide up the work in the team and trust people to get on with it. If you struggle with this, try starting small by handing over one task you would be happy to let go of, and be clear about the outcome you want rather than how to get there. You know your team’s strengths, so use this to match the right work to the right person.

8. Finally, remember to convey your excitement about working with them. Talk about building on the relationship you already have, and how, as a team, you can build on your successes and make the team stronger going forwards.

Starting a new senior leadership role will be a time of stretch and challenge so allow yourself the space to settle in to your new position. These simple steps will help you move forwards with confidence and easily bridge the gap from buddy to boss.