This blog is part of the Leader insight series, a collection of honest, peer-led reflections from leaders across our community. From aspiring CEOs to those with decades of experience, these stories explore the pivotal moments, challenges, and lessons that shape leadership in all its complexity. Together, they form a growing library of insight to help us lead with courage, care, and clarity.
1.37am on the 2nd February 2024 – my life, and leadership journey, changed dramatically. I was 26 weeks pregnant with our second child and that night things hadn’t felt quite right. So, trusting my gut, I ‘popped’ to hospital to get checked out; little was I to know that less than 2 hours after arriving at hospital our baby would arrive via an emergency c-section, over three months early.
Sharing the news with the team and my chair a couple of days later was surreal… Although I can only imagine what it was like to receive the message!
Thankfully, I’m a planner and, as fate would have it, we had recruited my maternity cover just a few days earlier. Planning a long handover and the opportunity to bring Kate up to speed fully didn’t quite pan out as we’d hoped, but it did mean there was someone to step into my shoes.
I was so grateful in that moment that I knew that with a strong team, chair and board of trustees that the organisation was in a good place. I’ll be forever grateful that the team scooped up so much of the work that I’d just left, thinking I’d be at my desk the next day – but in reality, it was 10months until I properly sat back at my desk.
It made me realise three things:
1. We’re replaceable – and that’s not a bad thing. So often, as leaders, we work long hours, picking up the pieces, thinking that we need to shield the team or help pick up the slack. But whether it’s through choice or unforeseen personal events the organisation will continue without you and that’s ok. If we do our job as leaders to empower those around us, they’re more than capable of continuing to drive things forward.
2. Taking time out – even in the toughest of times – can be helpful if you let it. I spent many an hour sat next to our daughter’s incubator, listening to the beeps of the machine that still bring about a visceral reaction now, but that time also gave me space to reflect. What did I want to achieve when I went back? How could I be a better leader? What did I really want to change? Having that time to think was invaluable and whilst not in the situation I’d have wanted that time is something that as leaders we so rarely prioritise.
3. Your outlook helps shape how you deal with situations. So many people would say to me “oh that must have been so traumatic”. Whilst it’s never a situation that I’d want someone else to go through, I will be eternally grateful for the care and support from the medical teams that made it feel like things were going to be ok. But I’m also a glass half full (or probably almost overflowing if you asked my husband) person. I try to look for the good in a situation and I really believed that helped navigate what could have been a truly challenging time.
Oh and that it goes without saying that our NHS is incredible and should be championed & supported at every opportunity.
Fast forward 10 months and coming back from my maternity leave was exciting. I’m a better parent because I go to work and have that space away from my family. I was fortunate that I’d found a part time CEO role; they don’t come up often; but balancing part time work and a growing demand on my time and ambition from our board and funders meant things had to change.
The joy of not having a handover pre-maternity leave meant that the wonderful Kate, who had been the interim director, and I had an extended handover coming back into the role. It was transformational and I would recommend it to anyone. Having someone who could focus on the day to day running of the organisation while I spent time reconnecting with the team, partners and funders gave me so much time back.
It also helped sow the seeds that perhaps there was a need for a different leadership model for the Foundation…
After 2 months back in the role it became clear that we needed more senior leadership capacity within the Foundation. In exploring a few different options, I kept coming back to the idea of a job share. Kate and I worked well together; we have a similar outlook, different but complementary skill sets and, most importantly, enjoy each other’s company. In broaching the subject with our chair and board of trustees I was so pleased with the overwhelmingly positive response. They’d had the chance to see us both in action and could see the value we both brought to the organisation whilst also recognising they were supporting female leadership to thrive.
A few months into our co-Director job share, it has been even more positive than I could have imagined. Someone to bounce ideas off, to pick up the last minute meetings when the dreaded nursery call comes in that your child is ill and knowing someone has your back in the difficult decisions. I couldn’t recommend it more highly to others.
What stemmed from a life changing moment in time has led to so many positive outcomes. I’m starting a new part of my leadership journey (or should that be co-leadership) and I can’t wait to explore the doors it opens.